What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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