his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
