I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
