Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
