i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
