We're like a lot better than the average bears
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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