i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My breasts were aching with rage.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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