You work out of a Hotel?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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