At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
