And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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