i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
