i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
