i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
