You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
