Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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