for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
