Non-Jews are for practice
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
