I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
