Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
