fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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