I just saw a hot homeless man
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
