this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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