Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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