Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
