I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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