New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it's like heaven, but drunker
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Randomize
