More tranny stories later!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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