I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
