All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have fence marks all over my body
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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