So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
