so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
