is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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