so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
