I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
