My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
