i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
