508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
