I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
