Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
