I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
