STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I got her a Nickelback box set.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
