Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
