I got chris browned last night
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
