Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
