your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
