Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
