Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
