i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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