Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
