they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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