Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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