I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
