We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
