38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
